I've just read through the previous posts I posted, since this blog have been around. It dates back to August 2007, I'm pretty sure I created this blog in 2005 but I think I somehow deleted those before August 2007, and I'm regretting that I did that now.

Right, so many things have been happening these days, much more going on on my mind. It's been like a roller coaster ride, there's ups and downs. The way she's acting, I think I got her message, it's pretty clear. There are times like this in life, which make things very difficult for you. Anyhow, you got to get over it and move forward, doing so gains you experience, although sometimes it's a pain in the butt.

As I just said, I've been reading through some old posts. I notice how much I've changed and not changed throughout these 2 years. One thing for sure, I'm getting old. *lol* Bumped into Ee Lyn some days ago first thing she said to me was " Wei , lu lao ki liao lo " which translate " hey, you've grown so old ". What I've changed I suppose is I've matured in my thinking, I've grown a little bit everytime I fell, gaining much experience each time. What I have not changed is I am still me. I'm still the same old Ben Joon that I've been for so many years. I've always thought to myself that if I were to have a girlfriend I want her to be this this this and that that that etc. yet I came to found out that, when you fall, you don't care about those anymore. Maybe I'm naive and inexperience in this, but this is how I see it for now. Who knows years to come, I might change my point of view again?

Looking back I notice how much I miss my old buddies, the times we used to hang out, go tuition together, have dinner at mamak, play basketball, go swimming, catch movies. Though I'm still in contact with some yet there are a few whom I'm missing on. I learned that as times goes by, things change, and sometimes they will not be the same again that is why sometimes I want to treassure every moment I have now, cause who knows tomorrow we'll see things the same way as they are now. I realised this since I left high school and finish college, I've been making new friends, became good friends, then they went on furthering their studies and you're left alone again. You may still remained good friends but it won't be the same anymore. People come and go in life, even the bestest friends can turn into strangers years after. Problems are meant to be overcomed, not to be hide from.

It's rainning heavily outside now, I've been wanting to stand under the rain and scream & shout, and let it wash my sorrows away. Let it wash away my tears, and pieces of a shattered heart. Telling myself I will be stronger the next time. For someone who loves you will not make you cry.


Just some ramblings of mine.
Signing off

P.s. If thats what you want, goodbye